Breast Cancer Awareness

I would love to be un-aware for just one day, please!

Ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, my ears now perk up whenever I hear or see anything about the subject and this reminds me about my own health and it makes me sad. Enough encounters with these demonic reminders and I go into a depression. I would love to go one whole day without someone or something reminding me of my cancer.

It's bad enough that I am reminded every time I get dressed, take a shower, or apply Mederma to the scars. I also see one of my 3 doctors quarterly and have to get mammo's and MRI's just as often. That's enough reminding for me.

Imagine, if you can, people popping out of bushes or from behind corners shouting "You have cancer!" several times a day, every day. That's what it's like! I wish I could shut these annoying people up. (I know they mean well...)

Here are some examples of what my overexposure to breast cancer awareness is like:

Last year a friend made a donation to the Susan G. Komen fund in my name. SGK sent me a little card. It was a nice gesture by my friend but I really didn't need SGK to tell me.

After I was diagnosed, I received multiple visits from Teleflora and 1-800-Flowers. My surgeries coincided with the month of my birthday so I also received flowers from my brother-in-law who didn't know yet. I treasured this bouquet because these were not pity flowers.

This year two friends went on fundraiser walks/marathons and asked me to join them. I wasn't emotionally strong enough for this. I needed to distance myself.

The last time I replaced my latex dishwashing gloves my only choice was pink "breast cancer awareness" gloves from Playtex.

This past summer I buried a friend who died from breast cancer. She had been my "big sister" who held my hand and answered my questions when I "joined the club." She handed down her scarves to me, not knowing that a year later her own cancer would return. I was an emotional wreck at the funeral. I felt like Scrooge did when he met up with the Ghost of Christmas Future at the cemetary. Someone saw me loosing it and rescued me into her hug.

Every once in awhile I receive phone calls asking me to donate money to find a cure. I tell them I donated almost $3000 last year and this year looks like it's going to be about $1000.

The entire month of October the grocery store I shop at had a huge display of pink stuff for sale - scarves, mittens, vacuum cleaners, cupcakes, cakes, ice scrapers... I recently visited Linens'n'Things to take advantage of their going-out-of-business sale - there was a big display of pink M&Ms and Tic Tacs at the entry. I think I've developed an adversion to things pink.

I used to have long hair- half way down to my elbows. Maybe once or twice a month I'll run into someone I haven't seen in awhile and they always comment on why on earth did I cut my hair. Do I tell them the truth or lie?

At the cash register area of the local arts & crafts store last week, there was a huge display of silk flowers and grave markers - giant pink ribbon symbols. This little event just screamed DEATH as well as Breast Cancer to me.

I hear about breast cancer on tv, on the radio, on the internet, on magazine covers...it's everywhere and I am feeling a little too exposed to it. Yes, I am very aware, so let's please change the subject and talk about something else!